Teaching Manifestation #21: Sometimes Kids Don't have Toothbrushes

My mom taught me to brush my teeth at 3 years old. My sister and I were taught that it was unsanitary to leave the house without brushing your teeth/tongue, not washing your face, wearing the same underwear twice, not cleaning your ears, and a few other random mama-knows-best-mandates.

So, yes, you can call me crazy and you can call me naïve: I thought everybody's mama, dad, grandma, auntie, guardian, foster mom made them/told them to brush their teeth.

Well, folks, that ol' brush yo' teef strategy is not happenin' with Generation Right now. These little buck toothed monkeys have the nerve to roll out of bed, walk to school, and stroll into my classroom with breath smelling like hell warmed over. By 8:15 AM my room smells like a sulphur factory mixed with a batch of last week's scrambled eggs. No lies. No fables. True story.

I've had kids complain day in and day out that a certain student smells like fish, pee, old eggs, and carne asada. Basically, she is a taco truck. Little homegirl does stink. My prediction is that she pees in the bed and comes to school without showering. However, I've reminded the students not to tease, laugh, or make fun of people, blah, blah, you know the rest.

However, something came over me on Thursday. Maybe it was X's dirty finger nails. Or, maybe it was X's snotty nose. Wait, it could have been because of X's ogre breath. I can't pin point it exactly, but the spirit of my mother overshadowed me and prompted me to give a lesson on hygiene.

Yes, I made it funny. The kids said, "Ewwww," when I said you shouldn't dig for gold and eat your treasure. They laughed when I pretended to pass gas and didn't say, "Excuse me" Then I sucker punched them: "Make sure you wash your face and brush your teeth before coming to school. If you don't have a tooth brush, let me know." Silence. Feet shifted. Then one brave soul raised his hand and said, "I...I don't have one." Then another! And another! Until 12 students admitted that they have never brushed their teeth, do not own toothpaste/toothbrushes, or simply use their finger.

A stunned Ms. Lockett asked, "Why?"

+My mom says wait 'til they all fall out
+I use my dad's toothbrush
+My mom says I'm too little

I sighed, and explained the purpose for brushing teeth. I discussed plaque, cavities, decay, bacteria, bad breath, yellow teeth, and tartar. I'm pretty sure all of these kids had at least four, or all of the symptoms of nastiness.

The lesson went well. I discussed why you should change sheets when you accidentally have an accident while you dream, how to clean out your ears, and why you cut your nails and wash your hands.

I took to Facebook and proclaimed my aghast. One friend took it upon herself to petition her dentist to donate toothbrushes to my students. Next week 20 little ogres will go home with a brand new toothbrush, and a squeezable tube of toofpaste.

I can hear it now: "My second grade teacher was Ms. Lockett. She told me my breath was funkier than a raccoon's and then gave me a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste."

Yup. That's me. Changing Generation Right now one small rotten tooth at a time.

Teaching Manifestation #20

Teaching is hard work. Well, teaching is hard work for good teachers. This job is not a joke! The actual mothering that goes into teaching is mind blowing. I am honestly a "mother" to 20 kids. This, my friends, is the ultimate birth control.

I have been blessed with 25 years, and my time with church chirrens, Sunday school kiddos, and Sunday school bus ragamuffins already reminded me that birthing and taking care of children was no walk in the park. But any flame or passion I had about possibly having my own spawn has been put out by the 20+ kids that have coughed on me, scuffed/stepped on my shoes, whined, complained, talked back, rolled their eyes, stolen my pencils, lied, didn't bring their homework, didn't complete their homework, and have begged to be rewarded.

But wait! Trinity just wrote that she loved me. Angelique gave me a Valentine's day gift in the middle of January. Diego said I was the most "beautifullest" teacher he knows. Joel finally realized that 4 quarters makes $1.00. Pedro brought his homework back. Yuvia and Diana just greeted me with a hug.

Ohhhh. The spark is back. Yeah, ok. I guess the ultimate BC isn't so ultimate. I love teaching and Chandra D lurves the kids.

Tax season

It's here. I'm not too excited. I didn't have an actual job from April until November, and feel like I'm going to owe money! Yech!

In other news, I kept all my receipts and will write off sales tax, fuel for school, tuition, all the stuff I gave to Goodwill, and I do believe teachers get deductions.

Am I missing anything?